Hungarian Peppers Vie For Pumpkin Show Crown

Slowly but surely, I have been perusing every document available on the Circleville Pumpkin Show website. Yesterday I saw the link for “Rules & Regulations.” I was expecting to find a list of typical festival rules. No alcohol or drugs, proper attire to be worn at all times, that kind of thing. I was wrong -- this PDF defines the rules for the hundreds of varied competitions.

I knew about the giant pumpkins, but had no idea that you can compete with almost any vegetable, fruit, gourd, or pie you can think of. Ten of my favorite grudge matches:

• Best Plate Limas – Hulled
• Best Head Cabbage - Trim For Market
• 5 Best Hungarian Wax Peppers
• Most Unusual Freak (this apparently refers to vegetables)
• Best Plate Any Kind Fruit
• Best Bundt Cake
• Best Plate Toll House (isn’t this the recipe from the chocolate chips bag?)
• Best Plate Pumpkin Whoopee Pies
• Best Can Catsup (can any of them beat Heinz?)
• Treasure from Trash

The Pumpkin Show judges hundreds of categories in arts/crafts, vegetables, pies/desserts, window treatments, floats, artwork, children (babies ARE judged). Most prizes are $3-4, but I get the impression it’s more about pride. I picture blue ribbons tacked to barn walls.

I’ll admit a non-trivial ignorance when it comes to agriculture, and I do not mean any of my comments to be insulting. But when I looked through the list of competitions and found it stretched on for thirty-three pages… Wow! The vegetable displays had been at the bottom of my list. (That’s a lie. they weren’t on my list at all.) Now that I’ve glimpsed the full list, though, Keryn and I must spend an hour or two learning what makes Carla’s 5 Best Hungarian Wax Peppers superior to Wilson’s. (I haven’t broken the news to her yet.)

One thing I found odd: the rules and regulations never list the criteria. To what extent can the outcome vary by the judge? Perhaps I prize color over size, and my colleague values shape and texture most. Does an exhibitor select his 5 Best depending on his knowledge of the judging biases? Hmm.

We arrive at Pumpkin Show in 24 hours. More updates later today.

- Normal Guy

[Incidentally, I notice that the size of the winning pumpkins has increased dramatically over the last five or six years… around 1,000 pounds these days, compared to 500-600 a decade ago. I’m concerned there may be some performance enhancing drugs in play here. I suggest someone launch an investigation.]